Be selfish – I dare you!

I have a lot of clients who believe it is their duty to take care of others before they take care of themselves and that it’s selfish to think of themselves first. So what about you? 

Do you feel guilty when you take time out for yourself?

Have you been taught that taking care of yourself is selfish?

Were you always led to believe that you should make sure everyone else is ok first?

In first aid you are taught to make sure you are ok before you attempt to help others, why? Because what use will you be if you are injured and in pain?

In the aeroplane scenario (this one is one I have seen a lot on social media of late) you are told to apply your oxygen mask first before you help others, why? Because what use are you if you are oxygen starved?

The truth of the matter is, if you don’t look after you, you will not be in a fit state to look after anyone else. 

Prioritising your own needs is important in order to give you the mental and physical health to protect and nurture your loved ones.

Some might argue that by looking out for yourself first you are risking relationships, but if you are in your optimal condition mentally and physically then the truth is, your relationships will thrive, you will build positive connections and attract the right people into your life.

Our connection to others is as much a basic need as food and water. 

Johann Hari, author and journalist recently posted a quote from his book “Lost Connections”, which I highly recommend. Johann says “We have begun to think: I will look after myself, and everybody else should look after themselves as individuals. Nobody can help you but you… this is a denial of human history…”. 

Our connection to others, as I think most of us have become painfully aware over the last 18 months or so, is very important to our mental health, and creating space for yourself can and will inevitably help you make deeper a longlast connections with others.

Looking after yourself may seem like an individualistic concept on the surface, but in the long term, it can help you to improve communication and connections with others. 

“Self care is not selfish it’s sensible” – Zoe Saari

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Photo by Madison Inouye from Pexels

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